That's SO Ricky
by BleachedMerc
Summary: No ordinary teenager; Ricky can see glimpses of the future! Watch his schemes and misadventures as he enlists the help of friends, including best friends Sopa and Kimwee, to change life's big plans. Ricky's obsessed with darkness and creates heartless schemes to try to earn cash.
1. Pilot

"Ha ha ha ha!" Clapping could be heard.

"Ha ha ha ha!" Clapping could be heard.

"Ha ha ha ha!" Clapping could be heard.

"Ha ha ha ha!" Clapping could be heard.

"I dunno... You don't think the laugh track sounds a little... wooden? Come on, Sora. I thought you were better than that."

"I'm trying Riku! Do you know how brain-dead the studio audiences are. I mean, they're so focused on the 'applaud or die' sign that they aren't paying attention to what's happening on the set! Out of the 58 takes.. this was the best laugh track we could get." The former champion of Kingdom Hearts slumped in his chair.

"..Sorry, Sora." Riku ran his fingers through his long hair. "I guess I just got really excited when we landed these jobs in Hollywood. A real film superstar! George Clowney!"

"I dunno, Riku.. You landed a pretty cushy job with this sitcom. I mean, you basically get to play yourself! How cool is that? ...I'm stuck here, remixing audio for George Clowney and-" He shuddered. "Ben Affleck."

"Yeah, I saw that Ben guy running around earlier, what do you think he's doing that's got him so excited. Another Daredevil movie perhaps?" Riku paced across the floor of the little booth as he tapped his chin.

"Who knows?" Sora sighed. "I'm cooped up in here."

"Hey, maybe I can talk to George Clowney and see if there's a role for you in the sitcom?" Riku walked over and placed a gentle hand on Sora's shoulder.

"Thanks. But –honestly, that guy kind of creeps me out. So... What's the script for the first episode want you to do?"

Later on set...

"Romeo, Romeo! Where art thou, Romeo?" Riku delivered his line flawlessly. Though the material kind of bothered him slightly. He cast a sideways glance to the floor director, George Clowney himself, who.. wearing a hot dog costume was bouncing up and down in his seat and shaking his fists with excitement.

All around him was men in outrageous outfits, all various styles, crawling around mewing up at the ceiling, barking and panting.

But Riku was an established actor. He aspired to give his best –even if this sitcom was right bizarre.

"Cut!" Someone yelled. It wasn't George Clowney.

Riku looked up. "Jeff Bridges?!"

"That's right." Jeff Bridges cracked a peanut shell under his elbow and against his chest before popping the nut into his mouth. His beard made it a bit awkward to chew and it just.. looked funny.

"The director thinks you done good kid. Take five and we'll start with the first scene. How does that sound? Would you like that? I'd bet you'd like that. Here, have a peanut."

Riku looked down at the peanut, but chucked it over his shoulder when Jeff wasn't looking. Something weird was going on here, and Riku was bound determined to find out what..

He'd soon regret that tenacity and drive.

For, you see, before graduating from the Destiny Islands Professional Acting School of the Xehanortian Arts.. or DIPAS, for short. Riku was a private eye, a real uncanny detective with proper sleuthing skills, a network of established contacts and his very own junior detective kit.

But no Sherlock, no matter how many junior detective kits, could only go so far without his Watson.

"No way. Forget it." Sora shook his head. "Do you know what my parents would say if I wind up losing yet another job? I mean being a Junior hero was a pretty nice job.. Great people to work with, you felt pretty established. Looked up to even... Besides, I don't know if I want to snoop around. Just this morning I caught saw this guy installing cameras in the bathroom for crying out loud!"

"Oh come on, you know you enjoy it. Remember when we broke into Kairi's place. I scoped out the ground floor and you investigated the bedrooms. You were tickled pink for like a week after that!"

Sora blushed. "I'm serious, Riku. We could get into some serious trouble here! What if... what if... what if Mr. Clowney is a wanted criminal?"

"That's ridiculous, what kind of wanted criminal would be on TV. You're worrying too much. I say, tonight: We sneak into Mr. Clowney's dressing room and see what we can uncover!"

"I dunno..."

And then Riku said it. Those four simple words. "What are you, chicken?"

So there it was decided, Sora and Riku were sneaking into the studio after hours to uncover George Clowney's secrets. There was only one thing standing between them and their prize. A day of work recording for the Sitcom. And soundboard editing for Sora.

But when that was done with, and Riku had finished for the day, he gathered up his trusty Watson and the two busted into... Studio 58.

Sneaking along in black copies of their usual customary outfits, the two junior sleuths, snuck past all the sleeping actors and their dressing rooms on the way to George Clowney's.

First they had to sneak past Ben Affleck, with his obnoxious snoring and cardboard box bed.

He looked just like a hobo! What with his prominent beard and holey socks.

The two detectives froze however when Ben Affleck rolled over suddenly and cried out "Wake up Ricky! We;re in my Dreams, Ricky! We're really in my dreams!"

Startled, and more than a little disturbed, the two steeled themselves and crept along until they passed by James Franco's bedroom. James was snoring in quick short little bursts, muttering in his sleep. "No no, I'm—I'm sure that cocaine isn't mine, officer. I—I, was holding onto it. For a friend. Yeah, yeah. It's actually Li Bingbing's! NO! I didn't make that name up just now!"

And then onto Tobey Mcguire's. Tobey slept in a crib, all tucked in and nice and comfy. Sam Reimi sat next to him reading him a little bedtime story called "Spider-Man 3."

Even more disturbed than before, but not quite as much as by Ben Affleck, the two soldiered on. Closing in evermore to their destination: George Clowney's dressing room.

Only one thing stood between them and their prize: Nicholas B. Cage... Oh and the janitoral closet A. Bucket lived in with his roommates, Ansem the Brave and Elijah Wood.

Riku and Sora soon discovered that Nicholas Cage had the weirdest sleeping habits of them all... He hung upside down from a disco ball above a room filled with lava-lamps and his room was filled with bees and posters of all the movies he had done over the years. His walls were covered in them, along with selfies he had taken from all the birthday parties he had ever been asked to attend and perform at.

So you can imagine how disappointed the two were when they finally arrived at George Clowney's dressing room to discover he was really a surveillance robot who yearned to understand intimate human behaviour and wore outrageous costumes to hide his real identity.

WOW! That's so Ricky!


	2. Episode 1

The kitchen was clean, the dog wasn't but because it wasn't really anybody's home, nobody cared.

The mother was played by some soccer mom scooped off the street, with questionable fashion sense and a love for both tube socks and sweat pants that cut off at the knees. She smiled at the camera, her face breaking into a veritable maze of wrinkles and crow's feet.

"Snora! Your supper's ready." She said, making faces at the camera.

"Ha ha ha ha!" Clapping could be heard.

"But MOM!" Some kid, this his first time out from his mansion, wore a dead hedgehog on his head and a bright red and white school uniform. "It's breakfast time! I just woke up for SKO~OL, remember?"

Then soccer Mom got angry. "I KNOW, SOMA!" She shouted at the top of her lungs, which was clearly very high. "You didn't come and eat it last night so I left it out and now you're going to have to scrape it out of the dog's dish! Ya idiot!"

The camera zoomed in on the dog, its dumb face too stupid to comprehend the fight... that or it just revelled in the displeasure of it's owners.

"Oh right. I forgot." "Sora" said with a wink and an adjustment of his dead hedgehog hair."

Off set, Jeff Bridges slurped a plate of some green spagetti and frowned when he left a trail of greenish-red meat sauce in his beard. "Yup. You're right Mr. Director. I think the new kid is going to do wonderful in the role of Sopa." Jeff Bridges said while wiping the sauce off his face with his tailored shirt, transferring it.

A snivelling secretary, played by an out of work secretary addicted to coffee, jittered and fidgetted, tugging down on the bottom hem of her knee-length skirt like she had a bad itch. Probably for coffee. She spoke to George Clowney as well. " —Testgroups show uptoandpossibly more than a 3% increaseinviewermembership—since we madethechange to thatkidfromthatfamilythatownsthemansion."

She nervously shook her coffee cup, spilling it all over her paperwork clasped between herself and her other hand.

"Yup." Jeff Bridges said, handing his now partially-empty plate of questionable spagetti to the jittery secretary. He smacked her affectionately on the butt and sent her on her way.

Silence broke out as George Clowney, once again in his faux pas Goofy suit got all excited for the show's next scene.

Micheal Richards, known for his role of Kramer from Seinfeld busted in through the door, entering Soccer Mom &amp; Sopa/Snora/Soma's kitchen.

"Come on, Snora. I thought you were better than that!" Kramer Ricky said, adjusting his spraypainted silver hairdo and strutting along the set.

"Ha ha ha ha!" Clapping could be heard.

"Oh, Ricky. You rascal you. Are you here to steal away my son and go out and play? Possibly potentially stealing our boat and rowing out to Destiny's Island? You scallywag." Soccer Mom said with a big smile and a jovial voice. Again in a maze of wrinkles and crow's feet.

"BECAUSE YOU CAN'T, YOU FREEBOOTER! WHERE'S YOUR PARENTS, WHY ARE YOU HERE ALL THE TIME AND EATING ALL OUR FOOD! I SLAVE OVER THIS HOT STOVE FOR YOUR MEALS AND YOU DON'T EVEN RETURN MY CALLS! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS KNOCK OR RING THE DOORBELL OR AT LEAST BRING CHOCOLATES YOU LOUSE!" She shouted at the top of her lungs.

The hedgehod fell off of Sopa/Snora/Soma's head as the shouting forced him to lean away from his "mom" while she shouted. He bent over to retrieve it.

Meanwhile Kramer Ricky was raiding the fridge and took out a can of beer. "Come on, Snora! Let's uh.. go to whatchamacallit's island and like.. play and stuff."

Soccer Mom, once again smiling like an idiot and Snora looked to the camera, and in unison, said, "Oh Ricky, you're so silly. That's SO Ricky!"

The lights dimmed and the camera stopped rolling. Kramer Ricky downed his beer and shook his head, while Sopa/Snora/Soma readjusted his dead hedgehog.

Jeff Bridges, now slurping noisily on a milkshake looked over at George Clowney, and with his mouth still full of cold beverage said. "You think anyone will notice that the show has different actors from the movie? Or last week's episode?"

George Clowney didn't respond. He just got too excited and was eating up all the studio's bandwidth, storing all his dirty pictures on iCloud where they'd undoubtedly get redistributed, hacked or leaked like usual.


	3. Episode 12

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma was reclining on the couch, pretending to watch some TV, but was really just the audience flashing little penlights to cast the glow upon him.

"Snora! Your supper's ready!" Soccer Mom said offset.

"Coming, Mom!" Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma said while scratching his dead hedgehog. For those just tuning it, it was on his head, pretending to be spiky extensions of his hair.

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma didn't move, though. He just changed the channel. By pointing at the audience with his remote and pressing a button. He set the remote back down and placed his hands contently upon his lap.

The dog hurried by, wagging it's tail, barking at the "front door."

"SNORA! WILL YOU LET OUT THAT DAMN DOG BEFORE IT MESSES ON THE CARPET! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR FATHER FEEDS IT BUT LAST TIME I WAS CLEANING UP AFTER IT FOR FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT!"

Before he could get up however, the dog grew impatient and walked around the partition, presumedly to do it's business outside in the studio. And Kramer Ricky opened the door.

"Sorry, Soma. But I think I just let pluto out."

"Pluto?! NOOOOOOOOO!" Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma exclaimed, without taking his eyes off the "audience/TV" and once again "changing the channel."

The laugh track laughed. Clapping could be heard. One "guy" sounded like it was the funniest thing he had heard all day and laughed until he choked. Collapsing in a heap.

"Don't you think we should go out and rescue Pluto? You lazy bum."

Who's this?! A new character introduced on set? IT IS. It's Megan Fox playing Kimwee/Kari/That female character!

She came down from upstairs leading the audience to wonder for years if she's Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma's love interest or possibly a sister/cousin or other female family member/tenant.

Ricky whistled at Megan Fox. Megan Fox ignored him and leaned over the back of the couch, snuggling up close to Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma.

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma looked up. Visibly unsure what to do. But it finally pulled him away from that "TV."

"TV's for chumps. Real men go out and rescue their dogs." Megan Fox said, unbuttoning the top button of her shirt and loosening up her hair with a florish. "Or damsels in distress, princesses and other hot babes, like me. Isn't that right, Soda?" She dragged her finger along Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda's chin.

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda gulped.

Ricky, seeing he wasn't Megan Fox's object of attention got bored and walked over to the kitchen set. He returned with a beer and kicked back on the recliner next to Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda's loveseat.

"SNORA! YOUR SUPPER'S READY I SAID!" Soccer Mom yelled from the next room. "AND WHERE'S THAT DAMN DOG! I'M GOING TO SHOOT IT, IT LEFT A MESS IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM!"

There was a pause while Megan Fox maintained steady eyecontact with Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda and he looked visibly shaken in return.

"AND WHO THE -BLEEP- IS DRINKING ALL MY BEER?!"

Soccer Mom finally appeared on set, wiping her hands with her apron and looking thoroughly pissed off, before she finally saw Ricky lounging in the recliner.

"Oh! Ricky! You're the one drinking all of mommy's beer!" Soccer Mom smiled, transforming her angry face into a happy maze of wrinkles. She then looked at the camera and said:

"That's SO Ricky!"


	4. Episode 23

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda and Megan Fox were making out on the couch when the episode started. The camera followed the dog, a golden retriever as it hurried from the living room into the kitchen. Soccer Mom was scraping a can of congealed soup onto the mess that was overflowing the dog's dish.

"SNORA! SUPPER'S READY!" Soccer Mom said, sticking the can itself into the mess. Not knowing what to do with the spoon, she just stuffed it back into the utensil draw for the Studio janitor to deal with.. or for next week's episode.

Soccer Mom dusted off her hands, signifying a job well done. She untied her apron and threw it onto the counter and opened up the fridge.

She downed one can of beer, then the next one, before grabbing a third and closing the fridge.

"Snora -hic- Will you make sure to go up and clean your sister's -hic- room? You're grounded little.. -hic- blister—mister." Soccer Mom, half tipsy collapsed onto the recliner, where half-drunk she got to see Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda part ways from Megan Fox. Megan Fox readjusted her shirt and took Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda's dead hedgehog off her head and put it back onto the noggin of her love interest/brother/roommate/co-tenant/boyfriend/on-again-off-again/whatever else the audience can think up.

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda, lovestruck, headed on up the stairs. The camera raised until it could cover the upper portion of the house. He walked by his own bedroom, Ricky's bedroom, Soccer Mom's bedroom and came to Megan Fox's bedroom.

Megan Fox's bedroom was as tidy and undisturbed as he had left it the last time he was forced to clean it.. which was a week ago.

In fact, a small layer of dust had accumulated upon everything in the room. CLEARLY SOMEBODY WAS-

Ahem.

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda slumped his shoulders, knocking his dead hedgehog onto the floor. He retrieved it and placed it back on his head.

Proceeding back downstairs, he was surprised, but only slightly to see Megan Fox had moved and was now making out with Soccer Mom, who was indeed now drunk. The upset can of beer was pouring out onto the hardwood floor and the dog was proceeding to lap it up.

Crestfallen, and bored, Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda looked up in time to see Kramer Ricky enter through "the front door" cross the living room, enter the kitchen and once again raid the fridge. Discovering it to be full, but devoid of beer, closed the door and walked back out.

"OH MY DOG! THAT'S SOOO RICKY!" The sound bite exclaimed as the show's title appeared on screen.


	5. Episode 34

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda was laying upside down on the couch, the dead hedgehog currently on the floor where his feet were suppose to be. As the boy was lounging about, he was also blowing bubbles with his bubblegum.

Plucking the flavorless, spent gum, he stuck the wad onto the dog's fur, as it walked into the kitchen.

A bigger wad of previous dinners was overflowing the dog's dish. Empty cans, plastic TV dinner trays and a couple glass plates all stuck out of the small tower that was collectively Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda's dinner.

The little black lab pup barked at Soccer Mom while she opened a can of dog food and plopped it on top.

"Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? You are! You are!" Soccer Mom teased and riled up the dog.

"SNORA! YOUR SUPPER'S GETTING COLD!"

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda waved his hand dismissively in the next room and kicked his legs over the back of the couch.

There was a ring of the doorbell. And Soccer Mom, hurrying over in her apron, swatted Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda's legs off the back of the couch with a rolled up newspaper.

"Hey hey hey!" The guest appearance for this episode said. "Mind if I come in totally unannounced?"

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? COMING UP TO SOMEBODY'S HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?! RINGING THEIR DOORBELL?! WHAT IF I DECIDED TO ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE THEN?! AND IN FRONT OF MY SON NO LESS! THE NERVE!"

"I've seen worse." Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda once again waved his hand dismissively and rolled over.

The laugh track laughed. And Soccer Mom smiled.

"Yeah, he has. Come in mr. Stranger played by somebody familiar." Soccer Mom straightened out her apron.

"Well don't mind if I do." The guest appearance said, taking off his hat and scarf. "Say, don't you have a young lady staying with you? I saw her getting undressed in her bedroom window and thought maybe she was the girl of my dreams."

There was a bit of awkward silence while Soccer Mom and Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda exchanged glances.

"...Well?" The guest appearance prompted them for some kind of response.

"...She's kind of not here, dude." Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda said while sitting up and returning the Hedgehog to his head. 

"I don't understand, but then..." The guest appearance was looking kind of razzled and fidgetted on the spot.

At precisely that moment, Kramer Ricky came down the stairs with a towel on his head, holding up the front of a baggy pair of pants. He looked nonchalantly at the ensemble before him and then headed into the kitchen for a beer.

That's SO Ricky!


	6. Episode 45

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda and the guest appearance were playing chess in the living room when Megan Fox came down and after kissing Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda, rubbing the guest appearance's bald head, giving Ricky a hug and kissing Soccer Mom on the lips, announced to everyone that she was going to the movies tonight with her new boyfriend.

"Have fun." Everyone said in unison.

"Snora! Supper's ready!" Soccer Mom said while leaning into the the living room from the kitchen.

"Yeah yeah. I'll be in.. once this game is done." Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda said while moving his pawn forward.

"Good move, Sonny." The guest appearance said, reaching over and ruffling Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soda/Sonny's hedgehog.

Soccer Mom was looking a little upset, watching Megan Fox pick up her tiny backpack and leave in her short shorts and tiny zipped up jacket.

"WHY DON'T YOU EVER TAKE OR INVITE ME OUT TO THE MOVIES ANYMORE, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING ABSOLUTELY REPULSIVE MAN YOU! I SLAVE OVER A HOT STOVE FOR YOU EVERY SO OFTEN OR ONCE IN A BLUE MOON AND YOU TOTALLY IGNORE ME AND SOMETIMES YOU DON'T VISIT OR YOU DON'T TAKE ME OUT TO DINNER.. ALL YOU EVER DO IS ROW OUT ON A BOAT OH SO OFTEN WITH SNORA!" Soccer Mom whacked Kramer Ricky in the chest with her rolled up newspaper, startling him and making him drop his beer.

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda/Sonny made his next move, using his knight pawn.

But the guest appearance had other plans. "I'll take you out tonight."

"You will?!" Soccer Mom looked surprised and broke out into another maze of wrinkles.

"Sure... why not? If.. you're... looking for a night out and...stuff.." The guest appearance looked down at the ground, curiously eying the dog that was curled up and looking sickly at his feet.

"SEE?! WHY CAN'T YOU BE CREEPY AROUND MY SON, EAT ME OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME AND STILL BE A GENTLEMAN LIKE THIS CREEPY WEIRDO?!" Soccer Mom swatted Ricky again as he was leaving the kitchen, once again dropping his new can of beer. It fizzed and popped and pour its contents all over the floor... again.

As the guest appearance took Soccer Mom by the arm and headed out the door, Ricky sat in his seat opposite Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda/Sonny.

"So... what do you... want to do now?" Ricky asked.

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda/Sonny just shrugged.

"We're.. all out of beer. Want to go to the liquor store?" Kramer Ricky asked, jiggling a pair of keys.

Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda/Sonny put down his hedgehog. "Yeah, alright. But I'm driving!" Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda/Sonny snatched up the keys and ran out the front door. He made the fatal mistake of slamming it behind him. At that very moment, the wall of the flimsy set gave way and collapsed upon the young teenager. The dog seeing the potential at freedom, ran across the fallen set and out the studio doors. Meanwhile, Ricky just skirted the outside of the rubble and retrieved his keys from Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda/Sonny's cold dead hands. Whistling he made his way off set. 

That's SO Ricky!


	7. Episode 56

"SNORA! Supper's ready!... Snora?" Soccer Mom said from the kitchen, peering around the door at the collapsed wall, now replaced by a plastic sheet.

The house was quiet. The dead hedgehog remained where it had been placed upon the chess board.

Soccer Mom looked around the living room before looking down at the chess game. "Hey Ricky!" She hollered upstairs. "GET YOUR LAZY ASS DOWN HERE! AND HELP ME FIND SNORA! HIS SUPPER'S ATTRACTING FLIES!"

It was true, the pile of supper had only accumulated further, and without Snora or the dog to claim stake to it, the delectable meal had only attracted other suitors. Namely the airborne tiny kind.

But Ricky didn't appear to be home either. Megan Fox was never around, and so Soccer Mom contented herself to another day in, this time in the peace and comfort of her own home. Turning on the audience with the remote, she lounged in the couch. Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda/Sonny would have wanted it that way. Pressing the button, the audience swapped penlights to generate the glow of the "TV."

But it didn't take long before Soccer Mom grew restless, and the sound of flies in the next room was driving her crazy in the silent, tomb-like house.

"Here boy! Where are you, boy?!" Soccer Mom whistled for the dog. But no dog showed up, or wagged its tail. One unrecognizable dog clawed at the wall plastic with a femur bone clenched between it's jaws, but Soccer Mom didn't recognize it, nor could she find the "front door" anywhere.

Soccer Mom got all excited when she heard somebody coming in through the back door. Racing into the kitchen, she was disappointed to see Kramer Ricky putting away his shovel behind the fridge. But then Soccer Mom noticed he looked kind of strange. "What is it Ricky?"

"Soccer Mom, I have a confession to make..." Ricky looked really sad.

Soccer Mom teared up, her face breaking out into wrinkles once again, but not the happy kind.

"I accidentally ran over the dog on my way back home from the liquor store!" He sobbed, holding up a six-pack.

That's just SO Ricky!


	8. Christmas Special Rerun

He knows when you are sleeping

he knows when you're awake

He watches you in bed when you think you're good and safe.

So stay asleep for goodness sake

Oh, you better not slouch,

you better not try, you better believe I'm telling you why

Ricky remembers... everything.

He's making a wish

it's probably a vice

can't figure out if he's drinking tonight

Ricky remembers... everything.

With an aluminum bat and a little flashlight

Rooty toot toots and rumbly tum tums

Ricky remembers... everything.

"Snora? Snora?" Soccer Mom asked as she pulled a fruitcake out of the oven. It was a rather shoddy-looking fruitcake and it wobbled more than jello. "Supper's ready!"

Splat, supper found itself on the floor next to the dog's dish as the young bulldog greedily gobbled up Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda's supper from several weeks ago.

"Ugh," Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda grumbled, "I hate christmas."

The audience gasped. Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda glared at them.

Megan Fox trooped down the stairs wearing a barely there Ms. Santa Claus outfit. "Hi boys!" she announced to nobody in particular.. maybe the audience.. maybe the director, maybe Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda.

She skipped over and kissed Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda on the cheek, pretended to give an european style formal kiss to Soccer Mom, and then scooped up and kissed the dog. Very passionately too. The dog, a big, dumb panting smile on his face licked his nose before she set the animal down and it scampered off into the next room.

"So, where are you off to dressed like that, young lady?" Soccer Mom said behind a maze of wrinkles.

"Oh, to a couple boys houses tonight, see which ones have been... naughty," she replied, lifting a leg up behind her.

"I've been bad," Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda raised his hand, "no, seriously! I stole this nickel from under the couch."

Megan Fox just giggled. Kicking her leg up once again and shooting him a fiesty.. what is that, bitey face? How is that attractive to anything but the dog?

Meanwhile Soccer Mom just yelled, "SOPA/SNORA/SOKMA/SOMA/SODA COLA KLONDIKE BAR GIBSON RAFUSE BURTON LAMARGE NUR-NUR HOOPA KEYBLADERKID, YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM YOUNG MAN! AND GIVE THE NICE COUCH BACK HIS NICKEL!"

"Yes, Mom.." Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda flicked the nickel back at the couch and wandered upstairs sullenly.

Soccer Mom then swatted Megan Fox on the bottom and sent her out the door. "Go down some chimneys sweetie!"

Quickly, Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda ran back down the stairs. "Mom, mom! There's a strange old man in my bed!"

"Oh sweetie, that's just your friend Ricky, he needed a place to stay so I gave him your room. You can sleep in our little Christmas elf's room."

"Whoo hoo!" Sopa/Snora/Sokma/Soma/Soda raced back upstairs whooping and hollaring.

"Strange old man in his bed.." Soccer Mom shook her head, distorting the maze of wrinkles like an optical illusion.

"That's SO Ricky!"


End file.
